A Spouse’s POV on Surrogacy

I am a proud two-time surrogate. I have no problem telling people about it whether they agree with my decision or not, and I do not have a problem answering (sometimes invasive) questions. I take it as an opportunity to debunk myths and educate people about a topic not talked about that often.

Then there’s my husband, who’s supported my decision to become a surrogate and was supportive throughout the journey from IVF to delivery and every needle in between. But there are so many questions my husband faced while I was pregnant (with another man’s baby – and another woman’s baby) that I think are important for other men with wives and partners considering surrogacy should know. After all, it is the “other side” of surrogacy that is even less discussed.

So, I interviewed my husband with the top 5 questions he experienced when I was a surrogate:

1. How do you get past the fact that your wife is carrying another man’s baby? When my wife explained the whole process to me, it was purely medical – and I thought it was a very selfless thing to do. She always enjoyed pregnancy, so why not do it for a family in need? Not many people asked me if my wife slept with another man – I think they would know me better than to agree to something like that! Although, I did enjoy joking around with close friends and family, saying that my wife was pregnant with another man’s baby! That was one of my favorite things to do when she was on her journey.

2. Did your wife decide without your consent? Absolutely not! She brought it up to me over dinner one day, and I thought it was a far-fetched idea, and I didn’t even know that surrogacy was a real thing. Then she explained the process to me, told me why she wanted to do it – and through researching the topic more together, we decided it was a great thing to do.

3. Were you worried you would grow attached to the baby? No, we already knew that we were finished having kids and were very happy with our two boys. The thought of another infant terrified me. But I was happy to have my wife be someone else’s oven for their bun. Knowing the baby was not biologically tied to either of us made it less complicated regarding emotions.

4. Do you still find your wife attractive (aka how is your sex life)? That’s a great question. And yes! There was not one part of me that ever considered this too weird to be intimate.

5. How was your relationship with the intended parents?  I enjoy the intended parents from each journey so much, and it is amazing what can bring two couples together. We still maintain special relationships with both of the intended parents from each journey – and they will be lifelong friendships.

Are you interested in learning more about surrogacy or have questions about talking about it with your partner? Give us a call today. We want you to be informed, fulfilled, and satisfied, knowing you can contribute to the world in a unique and precious way. Also, you can visit www.deliveradream.com to find out more information!