A Surrogate’s Choice

Choosing Intended Parents for You and Your Lifestyle

Before a Surrogate chooses Intended Parents (IPs), she has a lot of factors to consider. What types of intended parents does she wish to work with? What does she hope to gain by carrying and delivering a child to a couple? Should she go through a reputable agency or contract with individuals?

There are a multitude of questions that a surrogate should consider before choosing the IPs. In fact, these qualifications should be fleshed out before the IP/Surrogate matching process begins!

What is Surrogacy?

Surrogacy is a legal arrangement that is made when a woman agrees to gives birth to one or more children for a person/couple who is unable to have children. The surrogate then gives the child to the IPs after giving birth.

What are Intended Parents (IPs)?

Intended parents are people who cannot conceive on their own and choose surrogacy as a means to have a child.

What is the difference between a Traditional Surrogate and a Gestational Carrier?

A traditional surrogate mother uses her egg, which is artificially inseminated by a sperm donor or biological father, for the purpose of creating a child for the IPs. Shared Conception does NOT facilitate traditional surrogacy arrangements. However, we do facilitate gestational surrogacy arrangements, which is where a woman agrees to carry and deliver a baby that may or may not be related to the IPs. A traditional surrogate is the biological mother of a child, and the gestational carrier is the host for an embryo that is either related to the IPs or an egg donor or sperm donor.

How Does a Surrogate Pick Intended Parents?

There are many qualifications a surrogate should consider when vetting intended parents. But first and foremost: Does the surrogate want to go through an agency or wade through medical and legal waters alone?

I spoke with Shiva Landry, Executive Director of Shared Conception, about the purpose of a surrogacy agency.

“The purpose of a surrogacy agency is to guide both the intended parents and mother through the journey of giving and receiving life. You should ensure that you and the intended parents have matching expectations!

For example:

  • Does the couple want to stay in contact after the baby is born?
  • Does the couple want to go their separate ways after the baby is delivered?
  • What will the ‘hand off’ of the baby be like?
  • What are the expectations for both the IPs and the surrogate?

Sometimes surrogates choose intended parents because they know someone who is/or has been affected by infertility via cancer, miscarriages, and other medical issues. Whatever the reason for infertility, many times surrogates factor that into their final decision.

Another issue that faces surrogates and IPs is proximity. Does the surrogate want or need intended parents who live in proximity to her? Would she like to have them present at the doctor visits and delivery?

Have questions about becoming a surrogate or intended parent? Contact us at Shared Conception. We want to help!

Blog written by: Desiree Dunning