Momma cats and dogs do it. Expectant birds do it. And, if
you’re like many human moms-to-be, you’re doing it. What are we talking about?
Nesting–preparing your “nest” for your soon-to-arrive baby! The
difference here is that you are the surrogate mom and so you will not be taking
home this particular sweet baby. His/her intended parents will enjoy that
However, one of the many questions we do get asked here at
Shared Conception, is about nesting and the surrogate. Does
the surrogate mom still get the nesting instinct as do the majority of
The answer in a nutshell is a resounding
“YES.” For the majority of surrogates, nesting happens and yes,
their house gets cleaned and all their DIY projects actually happen. After all,
your body doesn’t know that the baby won’t be permanently yours, it only knows
that it’s pregnant.
This nesting instinct during pregnancy can be quite
powerful. Productive, as well — driving a legion of pregnant mommas to sweep
out the garage, pair up all the stray socks that have wandered into the Laundry
Room Bermuda Triangle and brighten the bathroom grout lines with a toothbrush.
If the nesting instinct hits your nest as you’re preparing for childbirth, make
the most of it — after all, you never know when this instinct will strike
Here are a few nesting experiences from surrogates.
“Oh, it’s physical for me. Nothing is safe when I
get nesting. I make checklist after checklist and they usually get done
by the time the baby is born. I’m sooo looking forward to it.”
“Nesting does happen in a surrogate pregnancy! I went
nesting crazy with DS and the house stayed so clean and organized! I even got
up the motivation to go through boxes of junk and take stuff to goodwill, which
I never do when I’m not pregnant! Ha ha.” Ally
“I had major nesting on and off the whole time. Which
was really bad since I was on bed rest. My hubby thought I was insane
sometimes. It was nice. I made six trips to Goodwill in my Ford Expedition.”
“Yep, I nest a lot!! It was nice to have
that burst of energy to do things like clean out drawers and closets and not
have it used to make a nursery! All that energy got to benefit the family
quite a bit. :-)” Amity
Of course, every surrogate’s body is different and nesting
may not occur in each and every pregnancy. But it’s nice to know that
even though this specific baby is being nurtured for the intended
parents, a good majority of surrogate moms still go through the ritual of nesting
while pregnant. Shared Conception encourages all surrogates to enjoy these
moments as they all form the unique experience of helping another family
complete their family.