Here is a scenario, a surrogate mother has just delivered her surrogate baby. What is she going to do next? Is she going to Disneyland? Is she touring Napa Valley?  Chances are this woman will simply jump back into the routine of her life with her own family, while possibly experiencing post-partum mood swings.

Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, loves reading all the emails and letters about successful surrogate birth stories. However, some of these women can struggle after pregnancy. There is such thing as feeling sad after birth, whether it is your baby or a surrogate baby. Even when you are uplifted by your support group, some women can get depressed immediately after giving birth.

It’s nearly the same with any surrogacy arrangement; a surrogate dedicates approximately one year to help the intended mother experience something she can never personally fully experience. What happens after the birth?

Surrogate mothers, who candidly describe their emotions, usually speak of feeling completely elated one moment and devastated another moment; mainly because their participation in this amazing experience is over. In most cases, it is not the baby they miss – it is either:

  • the surrogacy itself
  • the intended parents
  • the “specialness” of being pregnant
  • the hormones

These emotions and reactions are usually considered to be completely normal; it’s just not openly discussed. Any potential surrogate should be aware that she isn’t the only surrogate mother who has ever cried when the baby left the hospital with his or her new parents, or when she said goodbye to her intended parents.

Whether it’s intended parents who have been trying to have a child of their own for years and who finally had to turn to surrogacy, or intended parents who came to surrogacy from the very beginning of their journey as a way to conceive – the end of the surrogacy is not considered to be an end at all. It is merely the beginning of their dreams.  As you enjoy and adjust to your new baby, remember your surrogate with a grateful heart and a gentle smile. If you can, stay in touch with your surrogate. She will ENJOY seeing sporadic or consistent pictures or maybe visiting – basically in whatever capacity you are comfortable with sharing your baby.

Shared Conception is compassionately here to help both the intended parents and the surrogate work through their emotions.  We want you to be informed, fulfilled and satisfied knowing you contributed to the world in a unique and precious way. Interested in becoming a surrogate? Give us a call today or visit to fill out an application request form. We would love to hear from you!