Let’s envision that  you
all, the intended parents, and the surrogate mom have met, entered into a
contractual relationship and developed a mutual respect for each other. Now
it’s almost time for the birth! Let’s talk about the pre-birth and hospital


  • Discuss with your surrogate mom how she sees the
    birth experience and what she wants from you. Also discuss any labor/delivery
    desires or fears with us at Shared Conception.

  • Establish an efficient contact plan so your
    surrogate mother can easily reach you when its time!” Arriving at the hospital and being seen as a teamfrom the beginning
    will help hospital staff relate to you as a unit. Staff will be more
    accommodating and flexible on your behalf if they see you as a respectful team.

  • Find the balance with your surrogate mother
    regarding supportive
    presenceand hovering.
    Ask her questions about her needs rather than make assumptions.

  • Know hospital policies about who may attend the
    birth, what happens if a c-section is required, ID bands, staying at the
    hospital overnight, nursery or rooming-inpolicies. Shared Conception will help
    address these issues.

  • After the birth, you will follow the baby to
    watch the bath, and first exams. Please check back with your surrogate mother
    often to give her a report and see how she is doing. Some surrogate mothers feel left and lost at this point and remain concerned about you
    and the baby.

  • Feel free to send flowers to your surrogate
    mother! We are also happy to arrange sending them.

  • Take lots of pictures pictures help surrogate mothers
    re-experience what happened so fast and allows them to better complete the
    emotional process. Plus pictures are fun to share and help others to celebrate.
    A lack of pictures is a regret.

  • It is a joy for your surrogate mother to see you
    both with the baby. Spending time together in the hospital room or bringing the
    baby from the nursery to your surrogate mothers room is
    important. If you come and go from the hospital, keep your surrogate mother

  • The hospital birth certificate clerk will assist
    you in completing the birth certificate and getting it to County Birth Records.
    If you need a passport before leaving you must request an expedited process.
    Completion of both documents will take approximately 10-15 business days. You
    need a certified Birth Certificate before getting a passport.

  • Years of experience proves that it is BEST if a
    surrogate mother (with her family) and baby/babies (with new parents) leave the
    hospital at the same time.

  • A pediatrician will see the baby at birth and
    prior to discharge. You may also want to check with this doctor prior to flying
    home. A written note from the doctor is nice to have if the airlines want
    documentation regarding flying with a newborn.

  • Post birth contact can be difficult when contact
    changes from very frequent (prior to the birth) to infrequent or no contact
    after leaving the hospital. Our best advice is to call when you arrive home
    with the baby and tell your surrogate mother when you will call next. If
    comfortable, invite her to call if she wants
    she knows you will be adjusting to a new schedule. Let communication
    gradually decrease as she recovers and gets back to her routine. Abrupt changes
    in communication can create misunderstandings.


    Shared Conception is fully committed to expertly and
    compassionately guiding you through the pre and post-birth hospital
    considerations. Call on us, we are here to help.