It’s been reported that military wives currently account for 20 percent of all surrogate births each year.
In a sense, while her husband is serving our country, she is serving stateside helping an intended family do what seemed to be impossible—start a family.
Experts and analysis argue the reason for such high numbers within this group and the fight can get quite bitter.
But here’s what we want military wives contemplating surrogacy to consider.
Is your state surrogate friendly? There are hostile and friendly surrogate states and we wrote a blog post that identifies them. You can look up your state here. It’s important to know your state’s laws regarding surrogacy because this can impact whether you can even enter into a surrogacy contract.
Have you considered insurance issues? Many intended parents and agencies do not want to use Tricare as the surrogates insurance. Do your research on this.
What if the unthinkable happens? Our surrogates and intended parents aren’t thrilled when we have to have the discussion on planning for worse case scenarios. We insist that our families have the hard discussions upfront so everyone is clear and there are no surprises once the process starts. Ask yourself what you are willing and not willing to do if there’s something wrong the fetus. Know the answer upfront. Your answer doesn’t preclude you from being a surrogate; it just helps when matching you with an intended family.
Work with a credible agency. There have been some horrific stories in the news lately on unethical agencies and their owners. Do your homework. Ask credible resources like your doctor and always trust your gut. We invite prospective surrogate mothers to interview us thoroughly! Talk to other surrogate mothers that have trusted us to connect them and even talk to former intended parents!
We certainly understand some of the financial strain some of our military families experience. We can’t deny that surrogacy is attractive for financial reasons and helps alleviate some of the burden. However, we don’t want to see these families—families already dedicated to service—taken advantage of.
We pride ourselves on providing excellent care and service to our surrogate mothers and extend that same care to those who have spouses serving in our military.
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