You know, here at Shared Conceptions, we strive to share as much
expert information as possible about being a surrogate or an intended parent.
However, sometimes the best information comes
first-hand from someone who is actually “living” the role. To follow
is a fascinating account of the post-birth experience from an intended parent.
So the way it works in a hospital after a surrogate baby is
born is that they give the surrogate mom her own room and then they give baby
his own room and parents can “room in” with him. So I slept in a hospital bed for 2 nights at
Spencer’s side. The room was next to Vanessa’s room which was fun so we were
back and forth while they were still at the hospital. Vanessa was allowed to
pick 1 other person besides herself that had access to the baby. I got the golden ticket so S didn’t have any
access to him without Vanessa or I present.
If I wanted to eat, I had to go to the cafeteria or something and I had
to drop baby back off in the nursery (can’t leave him with S in our room). One time I did just that and dropped of
Spencer at the nursery. Then, after
lunch I went to go pick him up again and a new nurse I had not seen before
answered the nursery door. I stood there
in my street-clothes and said “I’m just here to get my baby”. She had that look on her face like “I
know you are here to kidnap a baby and you are not going to get away with
it”. Even while comparing our name
bands she seemed dubious. I’m sure the
other nurses filled her in real quick after I left.
I also found it entertaining as housekeepers and other such
people came in that they would look at me and it was obvious they had no clue
how I could be so thin sitting there cross legged on my hospital bed in
I’m going to be honest here and say that I felt some guilt as
I watched swollen-bellied women hobbling down the hallway after just giving
birth. I felt very out of place for
sure. I felt guilty for being able to enjoy
my newborn so fully. With my own 2
children that I gave birth to I wasn’t able to fully enjoy my babies nearly as
much because half of your attention is your own pain, exhaustion, and
breastfeeding. But this time my newborn
had my undivided attention. My worst
complaint was an uncomfortable hospital bed.
Yep, I felt some guilt.
Oh, one thing S and I thought was funny was on the way home
from the hospital when the hospital financial lady called me. She said “Vanessa says you will be
paying the bill for her……(reluctantly)…is that right?” I told her yes and so she told me I’d have
both hers and our hospital bill prepared.
There can be so many details and emotions associated with a
surrogate pregnancy. It takes competence and compassion to ensure a smooth
journey. Shared Conceptions encompasses all that is needed to ensure that your
experience is memorable and rewarding . Call on us, we look forward to hearing