The Relationship between the Surrogate and the Intended Parents

Surrogacy relationships require excellent communication and empathy on both sides. The intended parents need empathy for the woman entering surrogate motherhood, but naturally have a lot of worries and questions regarding the pregnancy.

The surrogate has to understand that the intended parents, who have no direct control over the pregnancy, are naturally concerned. Yet, the surrogate has to insist upon healthy boundaries and maintain her own right to live her life and be happy.

There is a lot of trust involved in these surrogacy relationships, and things can get complicated when problems arise. Shared Conception is here to guide you through these sometimes uncharted territories.

The best way to maintain communication throughout a surrogate relationship is to agree on a schedule for updates throughout the pregnancy. This simply establishes a schedule for communication so some boundaries can be established in the relationship.

It does not mean communication cannot occur more frequently if needed. It just means there are times the intended parents are guaranteed to get updates on the pregnancy without intruding upon the surrogate mother and her life.

One of the biggest causes for conflict in a surrogate relationship is the issue of control during the pregnancy. Surrogate pregnancy naturally gives the surrogate much control, even when the baby was not formed using the surrogate’s egg. Since the baby is growing in her body, she is directly responsible for doing everything required to ensure a healthy baby at the end of the pregnancy. Even if she does everything right, there is no guarantee of a perfect baby in the end. This has the ability to turn many well-meaning intended parents into micro-managers, causing the surrogate mother unnecessary stress.

Open and consistent communication can solve a lot of the problems in this aspect of surrogacy relationships, but empathy is needed from the surrogate. It is important for the surrogate to acknowledge the natural anxiety in the intended parents and to understand that their questions come from a place of concern for their unborn child. The surrogate that keeps the intended parents updated on everything happening with the pregnancy and answers questions patiently will have a much better relationship with the intended parents.

Yet, intended parents must also acknowledge the rights of the surrogate to have a life while pregnant, which includes some amount of privacy. If an update schedule is determined in the beginning, surrogacy relationships should naturally develop boundaries in this aspect.

Open communication and empathy will increase the chances of a successful surrogacy relationship. The best you can do is be aware of potential problems that may arise and plan accordingly in the very beginning of your relationship. Shared Conception is here to help structure the foundation of the surrogate/intended parents relationship. Connect with us.

 

Surrogacy relationships require excellent communication and empathy on both sides. The intended parents need empathy for the woman entering surrogate motherhood, but naturally have a lot of worries and questions regarding the pregnancy.

The surrogate has to understand that the intended parents, who have no direct control over the pregnancy, are naturally concerned. Yet, the surrogate has to insist upon healthy boundaries and maintain her own right to live her life and be happy.

There is a lot of trust involved in these surrogacy relationships, and things can get complicated when problems arise. Shared Conception is here to guide you through these sometimes uncharted territories.

The best way to maintain communication throughout a surrogate relationship is to agree on a schedule for updates throughout the pregnancy. This simply establishes a schedule for communication so some boundaries can be established in the relationship.

It does not mean communication cannot occur more frequently if needed. It just means there are times the intended parents are guaranteed to get updates on the pregnancy without intruding upon the surrogate mother and her life.

One of the biggest causes for conflict in a surrogate relationship is the issue of control during the pregnancy. Surrogate pregnancy naturally gives the surrogate much control, even when the baby was not formed using the surrogate’s egg. Since the baby is growing in her body, she is directly responsible for doing everything required to ensure a healthy baby at the end of the pregnancy. Even if she does everything right, there is no guarantee of a perfect baby in the end. This has the ability to turn many well-meaning intended parents into micro-managers, causing the surrogate mother unnecessary stress.

Open and consistent communication can solve a lot of the problems in this aspect of surrogacy relationships, but empathy is needed from the surrogate. It is important for the surrogate to acknowledge the natural anxiety in the intended parents and to understand that their questions come from a place of concern for their unborn child. The surrogate that keeps the intended parents updated on everything happening with the pregnancy and answers questions patiently will have a much better relationship with the intended parents.

Yet, intended parents must also acknowledge the rights of the surrogate to have a life while pregnant, which includes some amount of privacy. If an update schedule is determined in the beginning, surrogacy relationships should naturally develop boundaries in this aspect.

Open communication and empathy will increase the chances of a successful surrogacy relationship. The best you can do is be aware of potential problems that may arise and plan accordingly in the very beginning of your relationship. Shared Conception is here to help structure the foundation of the surrogate/intended parents relationship. Connect with us.