As an employer, asking questions to potential employees is essential. However, what if you are searching for a surrogate? The following are a few essential things you must ask before selecting anyone:
What made her want to be a surrogate? – This is a great way to get to know your surrogate and to see (besides money) what motivates her to want to give you this great gift.
- What were her other pregnancies (if any) like? – This would help you know if she had easy pregnancies or complications. Also it would provide great insight to see what could be included in a possible care package for her.
- What is her support system like? Are friends and/or family involved? – Pregnancy is physically and emotionally demanding. Make sure she has people who care about her and who appreciate what an amazing thing she’s doing. This is especially important for same- sex intended parents.
- Are you comfortable with me/us being in doctor’s appointments and the delivery room? Surrogates will expect your participation in the process. However, asking is OK for clarification.
- How many fetuses are you willing to carry? Are you willing to selectively reduce or terminate for an abnormality? – Some surrogates won’t reduce or terminate for religious reasons and some feel like it is the parents that are the ones ones that need to make those decisions because it is their baby. There is no right or wrong answer; everyone just needs to be in agreement with this extremely important point.
- What kind of communication would you like to maintain after the birth? – There is no right answer to this either. Just make sure your views align so that there are no hurt feelings in the end.
The questions you can ask are endless. The most important thing is that you get to know each other and make sure your personalities mesh. What are some questions you would ask?
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