“Tummy Mummy,” “Gestational Carrier,” “Surro Mom” – There are many different names for a surrogate mother. Some are cute, some are just technical, but how to become a great surrogate mother is a quality all surrogates must possess in order to have a smooth, stress-free journey.
What makes someone a great surrogate? That’s a question we often get from surrogates. Even intended parents ask us which qualities to look for in a potential surrogate. The answer depends on you. That is why Shared Conceptions carefully and methodically matches each intended parent(s) with their surrogate. There are several qualities and factors that play into a successful match and journey with a surrogate mother.
Beyond meeting the requirements and passing medical and psychological screening, a strong surrogate should love being pregnant, have an understanding of the time and commitment involved in a surrogacy journey, and an overall sense of kind-heartedness. Here are a few things to consider to have the happiest surrogacy journey.
- Be an excellent communicator. Shared Conception is a relationship-based agency, who finds it very important that you remain available to your intended parents. We encourage communication at least once a week between surrogates and intended parents. Have fun with it, too! Some intended parents enjoy pics of the belly or updates on the baby’s movement and of course, logistics such as the date and time of the next appointment.
- Share your story! Becoming an advocate for surrogacy and showcasing your support for the process, is one of the best things a surrogate can do. While the social acceptance of surrogacy has grown tremendously, there are some people who don’t completely understand the process. Educating others can easily help the cause. It’s usually because of unawareness and lack of education with the subject, that can cause people to assume surrogacy is wrong, immoral or illegal. With surrogate mothers sharing their experiences, more and more people can open their minds to this wonderful and joyful process.
- Create and use your support system. Whether you are married, partnered, dating, or single, having a primary support person is a requirement for all surrogates in our program. Beyond the physical demands of a pregnancy, you’re going to have emotional ones as well. This special person should be able to assist with child care, housekeeping, hormonal injections during the IVF process, and emotional support during your entire journey. Your support person will play an important role in helping to make this journey a positive experience for you.
- Have an open mind. Surrogacy is a human experience. There is no one that can control how a surrogate will respond to the medications or, even in best case scenarios, if a pregnancy will be achieved. These elements are often out of your control, which is why our surrogacy agency asks surrogates (and intended parents) to focus efforts on managing expectations throughout the process.
Shared Conception hopes these little bits of information can offer a more fulfilling surrogacy for you and your intended parents!