New mothers can turn to various practices for an easier pregnancy journey, whether they’re surrogates or not. These can include a birthing ball, pregnancy ball, and even crystals for fertility.
But even though many women are prepared to take up the physical responsibility of becoming surrogate mothers, they’re not so sure of its emotional aspect. Regardless of all the myths, surrogacy isn’t a challenging and apprehensive process. Not only is it fulfilling for many couples worldwide, but surrogate mothers have similar feelings. Although it seems natural to think that the process of giving up the baby is emotionally difficult, it’s actually very different from that.
In this blog, we will talk about surrogate mothers’ personal experiences and the joy they experience in helping couples and individuals start families.
Giving up the Surrogate Baby- Was it hard?
A common misconception is that surrogate mothers must navigate all these emotions independently. But really, surrogates have an intial consultation, and follow-up sessins if needed, with a mental health professional to help prepare for the process.
According to one surrogate mother, she received third-party reproduction support and mental health education, which helped her tremendously. It armed her with the appropriate strength, understanding, support, and motivation to become a wonderful candidate for surrogacy.
She explains that the process of surrogate pregnancy didn’t feel like she was giving up her baby because she started the journey believing that it was a gift she had to give. She began the process with a clear goal of giving the surrogate baby back to the real parents. While she shared a visceral connection with the baby during the nine months they were together; the real parents were the ones that would bond with the child.
Of course, it’s natural to want a healthy bond with someone during your pregnancy, and in this case, the surrogate mother developed one with the intended parents throughout the term. Surrogate mothers have a mutual desire to bring the baby into the world so that the intended parents could finally become a family.
Her experience is not unique. Instead, it is that of the entire surrogate community. Every surrogate mother will surely feel emotional after the birth, which is a natural consequence of the process. But in surrogacy, a woman realizes her calling and potential as someone who can complete families through the gift of a child.
For surrogate mothers, the journey focuses on the act of giving or returning what they created for the baby’s intended parents. A major reason mothers form a bond with their children is that over nine months, they feel like it’s just them and their baby. But in surrogate pregnancies, over an entire year, everyone surrounding the surrogate mother is excited for the baby to arrive. That means it’s not just one woman and a baby but a whole community, and once that goal comes to fruition, the surrogate’s primary feeling is joy.
Becoming a Surrogate-The Key
It’s common for people to wonder how a surrogate remains detached while carrying a baby in her womb? As an onlooker, it’s only natural for people to assume that the surrogate will find it challenging to give up the baby that she has been carrying.
Here, thanks to proper psychological counselling and guidance, the surrogate woman never considers it a pain to give up the baby. This allows her to focus on the joy and the privilege of completing a family from the very beginning. You must focus on the sense of accomplishment and pride you will feel and the appreciation you get for this selfless act. Just the thought of being an instrumental part of such an extraordinary and life-changing journey and sharing that blessing with others is rewarding.
It is important to stay focused on the fact that the baby is the rightful child of the intended parents. You’re doing someone a great service by taking care of yourself and moving forward with the delivery. Proper support and appreciation condition surrogate mothers to look forward to the moment when the intended parents finally meet their baby.
When you think about the joy that you give to a couple who wanted children, there’s no room for regrets when it’s time for you to hand over your baby to the intended parents.
In fact, there’s very little you have to do in this regard. Once you willingly commit to the process of surrogate pregnancy, you live each day knowing that you’ve helped a couple feel unconditional love for a child. You will feel proud that you have given them a precious bundle of joy to wake up to every day: a child who brings them endless joy with their smiles, soothes their hearts with warm hugs, and supports them when they’re older.
Surrogacy is an intimate journey that a woman shares with a couple, but she doesn’t suffer from a loss due to the process. Rather, she emerges as a stronger and more generous individual, a proud woman who has completed someone else’s world.
Gestational Surrogates – How is it for them?
Those without prior experience with surrogacy may not understand that the experience isn’t an emotional struggle but a rewarding one. Gestational surrogates don’t consider the final step as giving up the baby. In fact, they think of it as returning the baby to the parents who had entrusted her to care for it.
Gestational surrogate moms also emphasize the idea that the children they’re carrying have no biological relationship with them at all. The sperm and egg source are from the intended mother and intended father and if their sperm and/or begg is not able to be used, they obtain them from an egg donor an/or sperm donor. Then at the beginning of the process of surrogate pregnancy, they use the egg and sperm to form embryos and they transfer one embryo to the surrogate’s womb. Then, surrogate mothers look after themselves and the baby, considering themselves an important but only temporary part of the baby’s journey.
The process of surrogate pregnancy is not like adoption, which involves the emotional decision of giving up one’s child. In fact, in a surrogate pregnancy, there is no emotional decision-making or challenges at all.
It’s all about loving the baby for as long as it’s in your womb. It’s the same way some of us look after our nieces and nephews when they stay over on the weekends. When it’s time, the woman entrusted with a child’s care must return it to his/her rightful parents.
For further help with your surrogacy journey, feel free to reach out to us at Shared Conception and let’s talk!12