To become a surrogate, women must meet certain criteria. One of those is they must have already had a pregnancy and live birth. This means the surrogate already has children.
So when the woman becomes pregnant as a surrogate, her children might have questions. Her friends and neighbors might have questions. People might ask questions to her children. It’s best to come up with a plan before a comment is made that might confuse your children.
Here are some suggestions. For most kids, honesty is the best policy. Telling your children the truth, in terms they can understand, might be the best for them now and down the road. Consider taking your older children aside and explaining to them that you are helping a couple become a family. Tell them, in simple words, that your body is helping grow a baby for a soon-to-be mother and father. Keep to the truth and the facts, but keep it simple, too.
It’s important to explain to them, however you feel comfortable, that they will not be “getting” a brother or sister. The baby growing in your belly is for another couple, not your own family.
Another suggestion is to head to the library. There are lots of books about surrogacy aimed toward children in all different reading levels. Be sure and scan through the books before sharing them with your children so they are on par with your beliefs and ideals, too.
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