do you think, would you carry a stranger’s baby? How about your sister’s child?
Over the last few years, surrogacy has entered our society  with
celebrities like Nicole Kidman and Sarah Jessica Parker using surrogates to complete
their families. But yet, surrogacy remains one of the least talked about tools
in the struggle against infertility. Why do surrogates do what they do? Here
are two heartfelt stories from women who have experienced  surrogacy.

 – Rayven Perkins*, 32, married, mother
to a 10-year-old girl and 11-year-old boy

“I have been a surrogate mother
three times (twins in February 2007 and a little boy in June 2008), and I’m
about to give birth this month to my fourth surrogate baby. The best part is
knowing you did this for the right reasons when you deliver the baby and the
parents finally see him or her. But there are a lot of sacrifices a surrogate
makes. There are hormone shots that my husband had to help me take for three
months, prior to the transfer and then almost through the first trimester. With
varying state laws on surrogacy, you may have to stay in state. My husband had
to turn down a promotion in another state, and I missed Christmas with my
in-laws during my 3rd trimester with twins because my doctor said I couldn’t

[As for handing the baby off] I knew
instinctually that I’m not an attached type of person. I always viewed
surrogacy as a long babysitting project. I’m going to give birth any day now
and I’m excited that the parents will be there. It’s not sad for me at all. I
have no regrets whatsoever – I’m just glad I was able to participate. We’re not
rich people. We’ll never donate a wing of a hospital, but it’s one way our
family can give back to our world in a really big way. Without our assistance,
there would be four less children in the world. We are showing our own children
how to be generous and how to sacrifice for others


– Natasha Skinner*, 37, married,
14-year-old son and 11-, 8-, 5- and 2-year-old daughters

“I was a surrogate for my
sister-in-law, my husband’s brother’s wife. She has cystic fibrosis so she
could not carry a child, but they could genetically create a healthy baby with
her egg and his sperm.

It was important for my husband that we
had family support, especially if I wasn’t feeling well. We already had five
kids so if that meant making a meal or driving a kid somewhere, other family
members stepped in. My mother-in-law helped tremendously. And my
sister-in-law’s family helped, mostly by providing meals or by watching the
kids when I went to the grocery store to get food.

Really the best part was at the end when
they received their baby, just to see the joy and happiness. When John and
Kelly came in, I thought she was going to faint. You could just see that they
were elated. It was very special, and it absolutely brought us closer. Giving
something is as important as receiving something.”

At the end of the day, only you, as a
potential surrogate, can make the decision to impact and complete someone
else’s family.  As you go through your decision-making process, Shared
Conception is here to guide you and answer any and all questions. Call on us. 

*Excerpts from Amy Levin-Epstein