Alright, how could a husband be okay with the idea of his wife carrying another man’s child? What husband would support his wife through a pregnancy and delivery, all to make someone else’s family complete? Actually, the number of men who’ve helped their wives give birth to babies for other families is growing. These “surrogate husbands” tend to be middle-class fathers in their 30s, experts say. They are “confident and supportive,” says Elaine Gordon, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist who wrote a book for children born through surrogacy entitled, “Mommy, Did I Grow in Your Tummy?”
These men are crucial to helping thousands of couples have babies.
Here at Shared Conception, a married woman is encouraged not to become a surrogate unless her husband–who also has to undergo psychological and financial screening–gives his written consent. After all, his involvement is too important to the surrogacy process for him to be anything less than fully supportive.
Our agency remind husbands that there can be medical emergencies and months of bed rest, in addition to possibly administering the daily hormone shots into their wives before they even get pregnant. Let’s also remember that at times, these selfless husbands will have to play a larger role in the upkeep of their home and the maintenance of their kids. When their wives are too tired, at doctors’ appointments or meeting with the intended parents, this man will have to pick up kids, feed kids, solely help with homework and transport to extracurricular activities. The surrogacy process is not only about the woman, her spouse surely is a significant part of it all.
At the end of the surrogacy pregnancy though, this couple who have changed the lives of the intended parents, will have a new appreciation for each other. They will, more than likely, bond even closer together and the husband will view his wife with an intense appreciation unlike any other. THEIR journey continues as they successfully live out their lives with their own family.
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