Surrogate Spouses and Partners

  • Written by Courtney; two-time surrogate with Shared Conception

By now, you are probably familiar with the definition of a surrogate, the intended parents, the baby and all the doctors involved with the process. But what about your partner?

Throughout my two journeys, I couldn’t have done it without my husband. I admired him more each time. I remember back to our initial conversation. I made a case by doing my research, talking with Shiva from Shared Conception, and pitching it to him like one of the sales people that show up at our doorstep and speak really fast before you say “I’m not interested.” I held my breath for his answer. He smiled at the idea and said yes. You better believe that I had a laundry list, compiled by my research of what is expected of him, and asked him the question again. Another positive response.

I had similar pregnancies both times. Part of the reason I chose surrogacy was because I liked being pregnant. But, as with all 4 pregnancies, there were days when he had to come home after a long day of work and take care of what I couldn’t. Sometimes, it was a lot. We have two of our own and there were days that I was wiped out and he had to play both mommy and daddy. There was a lot on both of our plates. But we would always remind ourselves of how momentary it all was and how wonderful it was to help create a family. He reveled with each opportunity to come home a little early from work. When he couldn’t, I had my support system and he knew all bases were covered.

The first delivery (I had c-sections) he came in while the intended parents left the operating room, elated, with their bundle of joy and held my hand while the doctor stitched me up. That’s when I told him I wanted to give again. Although he thought I was crazy, he understood. The joy in the hospital on that day was overwhelming, and having the ability to give that gift was empowering for the both of us.

I share my story to explain to those interested in surrogacy to emphasize the importance of making sure your spouse or partner is completely onboard. You both need to be educated about the process. Also, it is equally essential for them to know their role in the journey.

If you have any questions about surrogacy or are interested in becoming a surrogate, visit, we would love to hear from you!