Deciding to become a surrogate mother is a choice initially made by you – the surrogate-to-be. However, you mustn’t ignore how it can affect your spouse/partner, children and the loved ones around you. After all, their support is crucial to a successful journey. Part of your responsibility as a surrogate, is to help your family be comfortable with the idea and to support them throughout your journey. In many ways, your decision is as important for them as it is for you.
The first step is to have a conversation with your spouse/partner, so before you make that final decision, have an open dialogue about surrogacy. Research the topic, become as educated as possible about the entire process. Relay the desire you have to help create a family. Even though you are the one carrying a child and bearing (quite literally) the majority of the weight in this adventure, it will also affect their lives tremendously. There will be restrictions on intercourse before, possibly during the pregnancy (if there are complications) and after birth, medical checkups, possible travel and down time that will require help from your support system.
It is important to include your children in this discussion. It will be impossible to hide a pregnancy from them. Children tend to be more accepting than you think. That’s why it is important to keep them involved. Give them the opportunity to learn from this experience. Explain to them why you are needed in this process. Throughout the journey, remind your little ones what a wonderful and generous adventure you are all experiencing.
You may not be able to please everyone. Only you know which family and friends will directly factor into your decision. If an important family member, someone you musthave in your support system is against your decision, this may impact your ability to be a surrogate.
Begin with a call to Shared Conception. We can educate you about surrogacy and give you tools to begin the conversation. Give us a call today!