As a partner to a surrogate mother, you will hear how selfless and generous they are, but you deserve some kudos too! Although the workload is on her, you play an essential role in the entire process. You will serve as a chauffeur, nurse, take on more household or childcare responsibilities, rub tired and sore legs with various other tasks and “favors” that will come your way. Shared Conception wants to give some advice for partners of surrogate mothers.


Don’t stop the conversation:

It is important to communicate your needs throughout the journey, not just in the beginning. It’s the best way to overcome any obstacles that your relationship may face during the pregnancy.


Stay involved.

 Go to significant doctor appointments, ask, “how are you doing today” – and mean it! You will feel like you are part of the journey when you try. Depending on your level of comfort, it does help to be involved with the intended parents. This relationship is vital to a successful and happy surrogacy. So, stay on that text chain, or join in on that FaceTime call. A little bit of involvement can go a long way.


Pause from Intimacy:

Your partner will take fertility medications that can make her pregnant in the blink of an eye. You will have to abstain from sex for a little while during this time and after the transfer. This won’t last forever. Be honest with your partner if there are any intimacy issues in your relationship at this time. Couples tend to be less intimate during pregnancy, and it may feel different knowing your partner is carrying a baby for someone else.


Imbalanced Responsibilities: 

Your partner will experience dips in energy and motivation as she gets further along in the pregnancy. You may have to take on more responsibility with life, in general, such as the kids, cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, etc. If this starts to wear on you, you may all need a break. Always communicate, and it’s okay if you don’t fold the laundry that day….it will be there tomorrow.


Reduced Activity: 

Those impromptu bike ride, walks, concerts, weekend getaways may come to a pause, too. But, as mentioned above, it is momentary. Take this opportunity to find something different you can do together. This might be a great way to discover a new hobby or interest.


Interested in becoming a surrogate? Give us a call today or visit to fill out an application request form! We would love to hear from you! Shared Conception promises to support you and your partner throughout your journey.