Everyone dislikes uncomfortable situations. Yet, they seem to
occur far too frequently when it comes to having a baby. Sometimes, it just
seems that privacy goes out the window once you decide to start a family.
However, there are times when it’s extremely important to allow uncomfortable
situations to occur in order to ensure there are no complications in the future
— especially when it comes to surrogacy.
There is always one topic that weighs on the mind of the
intended parent. A question you need to ask to make sure you’re on the same
page with the woman who may be carrying your child in the future: What kind of
communication would you like to maintain after the birth?
First of all, surrogates never see the baby they are
carrying for a couple as theirs – they have become involved in surrogacy
because they want to help a couple have their own child. They aren’t
trying to add another baby to their family, they want that baby to enhance your
Another important thing to remember is that the
surrogate mother has no legal rights to your child. If you’d like to cut off
all contact with her as soon as the baby is born, you have every right to do
so. However, many intended parents form a close bond with their surrogate
and might want to be Facebook friends so they can see pictures of
your kid growing up. Still others may be content merely to get a holiday card
every December. Additionally, good rapport and, in some cases, a friendship can occur through Instant Message (IM). This type of relationship just forms naturally during the surrogacy process. As long as both parties are on the same page, anything can
Shared Conception’s advice is to offer up a friendly yet minimal
amount of contact. Of course, if you and your surrogate hit it off you
can always have more contact than you planned. Always ensure your child is
comfortable with the level of contact,very important.
This topic may initially seem trivial but it’s an
important topic that needs to be addressed as soon as possible so that all
parties are adhering to expectations and not reacting to a lack of
communication or a misunderstanding. Deal with all the
“uncomfortable” topics upfront so you can mentally relax and enjoy
the rest of the pregnancy!